I’ve been burned.
I’ve been burned by “friends” and “family”. As a result I have difficulty trusting people. As a result I sometimes burn others. My track record in relationships – both male and female – is spotty at best. I have difficulty with the intimacies of friendship, of family, of community and of life. There are only one or two people who I am spiritually close with – who I’ve cried with or shared my pain and joys with. I’d like there to be more but at 41 it’s hard to change my spots.
It is best to read it aloud.
When I peruse the conquer’d fame of heroes, and the victories of mighty generals, I do not envy the generals, Nor the President in his Presidency, nor the rich in his great house; But when I hear of the brotherhood of lovers, how it was with them, How through life, through dangers, odium, unchanging, long and long, Through youth, and through middle and old age, how unfaltering, how affectionate and faithful they were, Then I am pensive—I hastily walk away, fill’d with the bitterest envy.
Walt Whitman, (1819–1892). Leaves of Grass. 1900
Call your friend. Let someone know you care. Let them know that they are not alone. In this way you never will be.