For me, I think there is some family of origin damage that at times creates a shame-based necessity to explain my motives or my intentions to people who I care about or that care about me – or that I’m trying to impress.
Most people don’t actually care.
Before I understood this about myself it made for occasionally awkward conversational moments. I talk too much.
When I was young I remember some wise counsel suggesting that my life is not that interesting and perhaps the reason I couldn’t get a second date is because I talked too much about the past or about the future but had difficulty staying in the moment.
It was excellent advice.
Also, I tend to be too intellectual and too spiritual and apply meaning based on my experiences which creates another kind of problem. I find symbolism where none is intended.
I collected a great quote from Hemingway: “There isn’t any symbolism. The sea is the sea. The old man is an old man. The boy is a boy and the fish is a fish. The shark are all sharks no better and no worse. All the symbolism that people say is shit. What goes beyond is what you see beyond when you know.”
Lastly, I don’t do superficial well. It took me a longtime to learn that when most people ask, “How are you?,” they don’t actually want to know.
The reality is, I don’t really understand either. What I do understand is there is no one path in the one life we live. If you aren’t happy it isn’t someone else’s fault. It is your own for not living your own Truth.