Mulligans


183268_1857815691959_1437880996_2110286_1728639_nI spent most of my life trying to be the good guy and do what I thought was best.

Sometimes I have failed spectacularly.

However, most of the time I did a good job contrary to what you think you know. Most of my life I have given one individual opportunity after opportunity and when things fell apart, as they invariably do, I chalked it up to something I did. “Their behavior must be in retaliation from my misstep,” I would think. I looked away or simply rolled my eyes every time he kicked the ball out of the rough and called for a Mulligan.

Which brings me here.

Over the last ten years, against my better judgement, against my wife’s better judgement and against the advice of every single person that knows him, I invested money and time with him. Not once but TWICE.

Yes, twice.

Twice I set aside my wife’s sound advice, twice I set aside the advice of wise counsel and twice I set aside my own intuition and invested in this person both emotionally and financially.

And TWICE I left poorer both emotionally and financially.

So recently, I’ve watched with building contempt to this good evangelical and family man post pictures and stories about what a stand up man he is as he condemns the society around him for their failings. I couldn’t help myself and posted snark on his Facebook feed. No one else understood but him and I…and the handful of other people still paying the bills from our misguided misadventures.

Don’t get me wrong, he isn’t stupid.

He paid back the people that could help him down the road, but the people he didn’t think could – or would – help him anymore, he screwed. I should have kept my mouth shut but he really financially and emotionally hurt some good people and friends. Actually, I should have done what everyone else did and gotten a lawyer and sued him but the reunions are awkward enough.

I don’t want an apology. I want a certified check. Actually, I haven’t gotten either – and don’t expect I ever will.

This is why intuition matters. This is why you should listen to counsel. This is why you should ignore your heart, hang onto your wallet and embrace your intuition. This is why you should listen to your wife.

This is why there will be no more Mulligans.

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