This: “In a romantic context, when the questions go unanswered, the person unconsciously asking them typically becomes increasingly distant, grows restless in the relationship, and often starts seeking drama and distraction to get attention and feel more alive.
So much truth here.
I don’t play guessing games. When someone excitedly asks, “Guess what I did today!”
My answer is always – ALWAYS — an emphatic, “NO!”
On more than one occasion I’ve told people, “If you don’t tell me what you need and want, I will fill the vacuum. Don’t make me guess.”
Given time and distance I see clearly my marriage to a woman I loved, and loved me, failed because we spent to much time guessing what the other needed and wanted. We both wanted something different but left the other one to guess what it was.
I am clearly a terrible guesser.
By the time I discovered what it was she wanted and needed it was too little to late. We had already grown distant, and I was restless in the relationship, creating drama and distraction to get attention and feel more alive.
I no longer guess. I work to communicate my needs, wants and ideas too. It isn’t fair to let them guess.