How Can I Ever Trust You Again?

Rebuilding trust is a decision involving all the parties.

The realization this week we both have secrets creates the need for an emotional Cesarean. The reality of the trauma will have to be cut away to get to the beautiful life ready to be born.

PushUP24

Of all of the threats to a committed relationship I have treated in four decades of working with couples, the most difficult to heal is infidelity. When a trusted partner in a committed relationship betrays the sacred trust of the other, the relationship will undergo severe instability.

The partner who has been betrayed is emotionally tortured and humiliated when knowledge of the infidelity emerges. They are clearly in trauma and experience the same array of symptoms that professionals now describe as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Similar to any others who have suffered threats to their physical or emotional well-being and security, they are disoriented and confused by what has happened.

Relationship partners of both genders experience similar of the classical symptoms of PTSD:

-Repeated intrusive thoughts.

-Unstable emotional regulation.

-Out of body experiences.

-Alternating between feeling numb and striking out in retaliation.

-Inability to stop scanning for any new…

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Hope

When summer is a faded memory and the hope for spring is shaded by the short and dreary days of winter, I love the scent and colors of the Franklin Park Conservatory. It is a reminder that with patience all things grow and even the hardiest need time to gather their strengths in order to... Continue Reading →

I don’t think I’m sexist

"I don’t think I’m sexist, But I remember my grandmother, the loveliest person I‘ve ever known, but she was racist, but I don’t think she knew. I don’t know if I have some cultural hangover, I know that I have a great love of proletariat linguistics, like ‘darling’ and ‘bird’, so if women think I’m... Continue Reading →

How to Change Your Life in One Second Flat | Thrive Global

Yes. This: "In a romantic context, when the questions go unanswered, the person unconsciously asking them typically becomes increasingly distant, grows restless in the relationship, and often starts seeking drama and distraction to get attention and feel more alive. So much truth here. I don't play guessing games. When someone excitedly asks, "Guess what I did... Continue Reading →

Do not lose time on daily trivialities

Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all of these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead. This is one of the most... Continue Reading →

You Aren’t Exceptional

By not actively speaking out I am complicit, even a co-conspirator, in acts of terrorism like the Oklahoma City Bombing or the criminality of the Bundy Standoff.

This is the power of shame

Living with shame isn't like living in darkness. It's staring into the sun; forever corrupting our ability to accurately perceive our significance and contributions to the world around us. 

#Cupid is a #terrorist.

#Cupid is a #terrorist. I've been getting #love backwards since 1968. https://oldblackwaters.com/2014/08/22/cupid-is-a-terrorist/ http://ow.ly/i/zPmOk

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